Let me start out by saying that I have been very blessed all throughout my life. I was blessed so much growing up in fact that it was a very hard transition going from living at home and having disposable income, to living at college with an allowance and no income, to being married and having my own income but having to pay bills for the first time, think about someone else's needs above my own, and our needs as a couple before my own. It has been a very hard transition, a long one, and one that I am realizing that as more time goes on, I need more time to grow! My family can testify that I have never been the best steward of money, however, I am struggling every day to change that. The reason I am going on about this is because I got to thinking about it today and a huge question came to my mind; Am I greedy? It seems the less money I have the more I want, and when I have more money, I still feel that it is little. Part of this I feel is to blame on comparing myself to other people and couples. I look at other couples our age and say to myself, "Look, they both already have good jobs, a house, etc, and we are far far from that." Deep down i know a few things: 1) I do not know that couple's current or past financial situation, for all I know, they could be living off of their parents still, or be thousands of dollars in credit card or loan debt, 2) Maybe no matter how much anyone ever has, it never seems to be enough, 3) Each couple is different, and God will do different things with the financial situation that he puts each couple in (hope that makes sense) and 4) God will always provide what you really need.
Having said all that, here are my thoughts on the subject. We may always stay where we are now financially, and we need to make the best of it. As Vicki on the Real Housewives of OC said, "It's not the amount of money you have, it's what you do with the money you have." Honestly, we really have been given all that we need and more. We are able to pay our bills, have a place to live, have two cars, never go hungry, have plenty of clothes, etc. I really just need to focus on that and not all of the extra "stuff" out there that I want. We have all of the furniture we need, I need to focus on that instead of the fact that we don't have a beautiful leather sectional couch, or a beautiful white shabby chic bed. I have way to many clothes in my closet, so I really need to be thankful for what I have and not think about the new spring line that is coming out at Ann Taylor or how all of their beautiful winter clothes are going on sale. I don't need it! And lastly, maybe God does have something bigger and better financially planned for us and is putting us through tighter times right now to prepare us to be good stewards of our money when we have more. Even if that doesn't happen, I need to focus more on the above stated and being more responsible with the money He has given me.
One of my dreams has always been to have lots of money and just give it away to people in need. Obviously God knows me better than I do and He knows Rene and I as a couple better than we do. He probably knows that really, we are not responsible enough yet with the money he has given us to trust us with more. He probably knows that if He gave us more now, we would probably just spend it on eating out, decorating our apartment, clothes, or other "stuff" that we already have more than enough of and don't really need. So I am committed now to work on being a better steward of our money, and to stop being greedy. As the preacher said in church today, "Everything is God's, we own nothing". In the end, we don't bring anything from this earth with us to heaven. It doesn't matter how cute our clothes were or if we owned a house or rented an apartment or had all of our loans fully paid or had thousands of dollars in the bank.
Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my father
There is no shadow of turning with Thee
Thou changest not Thy compassions they fail not
As Thou hast been thou forever wilt be
Great is Thy faithfulness, great is Thy faithfulness
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is they faithfulness Lord unto me.